March is almost over...

This is crazy and hard to believe. Since I last posted, my husband and I both turned 30, I took a week-long trip up to MD to hang out with family, I applied for and didn't get a job, and I started looking into renewing my school library license for NC. Haven't gotten too far with that one, yet. We also hired an electrician for the first time, and got a wonderful one, so if you need electrical work done in NC's Triangle area, let me know. Otherwise, not much happened. When home with kids, there is a lot of activity, but not a lot to report to the outside world. It's fun and maddening by turns, and the kids are hilarious to watch as they try new things out and add words to their vocabulary and skills and ideas to their repertoire.

I have my drafts of children's literature-related opinions still saved, so let me try to get one up...

Some recent picture book reviews

Inspired by Katie over at Sharing Soda, I thought I'd put in some picture book reviews. (It gives me an easy blog post, since I'm copying and pasting from Goodreads!) I don't do storytimes regularly in my current job (sigh), but it's been fun to look at picture books based on how our 2 year old son enjoys them.

(These are in reverse reading order, FYI):

Mrs. O'Leary's Cow by Mary Ann Hoberman

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I don't know enough about the song/spin-off that this is based on to really appreciate it, but N. really likes it--there's a cow AND firefighters, so what's not to like?!

Arthur's Underwear: An Arthur Adventure by Marc Brown

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I think it's nice that Brown did an underwear book just because lots of kids asked for one (see the dedication), but I'm not that impressed with the story--although, I guess I wouldn't find it that easy to write a whole story about underwear!
N. thinks it's hilarious, although he doesn't get the dream sequences or the amoeba. The book did inspire the realization of a truism about kids: the difference between a 2 year old and an 8 year old is their opinion on going without pants.

Anansi and the Moss-Covered Rock by Eric A. Kimmel

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Oh, my. I'm not a huge trickster-tale fan, but this was a good one. The original premise (a magic rock that knocks out anyone who comes along and says, "Isn't this a strange moss-covered rock?") takes some getting used to, but both Anansi's tricks on others, and the trick that finally gets him (for now) are really funny. So is the sound effect (KPOM!) with which everyone is knocked out and Janet Stevens' illustrations of huge jungle animals on their backs. Finally, this is a good book for learning attention to detail, as my 2 year old started to notice that Little Bush Deer (who comes into the story about half-way through) was appearing in the pictures all along.
But the real reason I now love this book: I walked in to said 2-year-old's room a little over a week ago, watched him walk around in a circle, look on the floor, say, "Oh, what a strange rock!" then yell "KPOM!" and "fall" down on his back. It was absolutely HILARIOUS.

Arthur's Nose : 25th Anniversary Limited Edition by Marc Brown

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I always thought it a little ironic that the hero of the series that started with Arthur's Nose has had a shrinking nose throughout the years. Still, the classic is good, and most of the immediate characters are recognizable, even to a 2 year old.

Terrific (New York Times Best Illustrated Books by Jon Agee

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Jon Agee books tend to be hit-or-miss with me, and this one was a hit! A tall tale about a man whose numerous misfortunes (winning a trip to Bermuda, being shipwrecked, finding a talking parrot...) lead to a friendship with the above-mentioned parrot. The title comes from the man's (usually sarcastic) exclamation at each new development.

And to Think That We Thought That We'd Never Be Friends by Mary Ann Hoberman

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was of two minds on this one--I liked the verse, and the first couple scenarios (siblings fighting, solved when they decide to share a soda or do something different) had nice messages. As the book went on, though, it got a little too New Age-y for me: if everyone just walks around the world together making lots of noise, we'll all be friends! Or maybe I'm just overly cynical about books that N. is not yet old enough to sit through...

Time to Sleep, Sheep the Sheep! by Mo Willems

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Another "Cat the Cat" book, which N. received for Christmas. I especially love this one because of the cute getting-ready-for-bed scenes and the clever line about using the potty. N. especially loves to go around asking, "Checkers, anyone?" (at random intervals).


View all my reviews

Maternity Leave Lessons

My maternity leave comes to an end tomorrow, so I just want to share a few of the things I learned:

• How to darn a sock.
• How to hide collard greens in a variety of dishes: lasagna, tacos, stir-fry. For Thanksgiving, Mark actually learned how to cook them in such a way that they are palatable on their own, but I think I'll need another spring/summer of CSA produce before I can say I've learned to "like" collards.
• How to make gnocchi.
• Baking really is worth the time invested.
• The only way not to burn the bottoms of cookies in my oven is to put the top rack on the VERY top and bake them there.
• My house is never going to be completely clean. I still have to keep trying, but I need to accept this fact.
• Doing one or two loads of laundry every couple of days is more likely to keep the laundry mountain at bay than trying to do it all once a week. This also keeps bibs with baby food from developing mildew.
• Washing diapers twice a week is better because you can talk yourself out of washing the covers by hand more often.
• Every baby is different.
• If your first child sleeps like a champ, don't expect the same with the second child!
• The Durham County Public Library is awesome. So is the Durham Life and Science Museum and the free indoor playground at Southpoint Mall.
• Checking out a book you didn't plan on is just as satisfying as buying a book you didn't plan to, and a lot cheaper!
• Staying home with my kids is super fun and should be taken advantage of whenever possible!

How to throw a surprise (library) baby shower

1. Hire a particularly gullible young librarian, and wait for her to get pregnant.

2. Make sure you schedule the shower during a week where the evening staff schedule is weird because of a state holiday the previous weekend.

3. Get the librarian to come in on what she's sure is a day off by asking her to come to an important (last minute) meeting--only after other staff attempts to get her in by more reasonable means fail due to stubbornness and third trimester fatigue.

4. Have her husband offer to accompany her to campus at the last minute on the day of the "meeting," then ask her to show him where she will be meeting.

5. Yell "Surprise!" and shower her with delicious food and thoughtful baby gifts.

6. NEVER let her forget how difficult it was to make her come to her own shower.

7. Using a book cart to store the gifts is optional.

Maternity leave, redux

I am happy to share that I have been given the ok to taken extended leave without pay after our new baby arrives! The due date is May 30th (and here's hoping baby is more patient than her older brother, who came 4 weeks early), and I will be out until December 1. I have sick and vacation leave saved up that will last for about the first 6 weeks, then I'll be on leave without pay--but I will be allowed to come back afterward. I should probably say that, until my last form is turned it, nothing is 100% certain. Still, I have an acknowledgment in writing, and my director announced how long I will be out to the rest of the staff, so my general feeling is: HOORAY!

A few more notes/observations about maternity leave:

• I still need to figure out if I (and our kids) can stay on the state health insurance plan, even if we have to pay the full cost out of pocket. Health insurance adds an extra layer of complication to taking off time or staying home altogether, because you both aren't making money and have to pay for health insurance--ah, for a socialist health system!
• A LOT of it has to do with your relationship with your supervisor(s). I have a good relationship with mine and I think they like my work, so I feel like they were more willing to make my case to the HR department.
• In the public sector, at least, even supportive supervisors have to work within the framework of policy. I looked up information on extended leave without pay before I asked.
• Family and Medical Leave has (in my opinion) some issues beyond lasting only 12 weeks. You have to get a doctor to sign off on your time--even though the "caring for a newborn child" provision of family and medical leave has nothing to do with a medical issue! I don't want to take time off to "recover" from giving birth (yes, that is necessary, but for a normal birth, 2-4 weeks would be plenty for that). I want to take time off to spend time with a new human being in my life!
• There's something to "ask and you shall receive." Maybe not always. But when I dutifully followed "What to Expect's" guidelines and met with an HR rep to "find out my options" last fall, the option of taking 6 months off was definitely not presented. My husband and I figured it couldn't hurt to ask--the worst they could say was no.
• It probably doesn't hurt that I work a shift that (most) people aren't dying to work. In some ways, this complicated things--the library had to present how they were going to cover those hours--but, on the other hand, my continued interest in working this shift probably contributed to my value as an employee.

There were some really interesting and helpful comments on my last post about maternity leave, so if you have more to share, please do!

Maternity leave

My husband and I are expecting our second child (a girl!) at the end of May. We are very excited. I told my library director and immediate supervisor 2 weeks before our library closed for Christmas, when I had completely given up on my regular pants and had broken my maternity clothes out of the closet. So far, I've only heard supportive things from both of them.

I'm hoping to wait a few weeks before I officially request the amount of time I'm going to take for maternity leave, balancing the time I know I will need to do all the paperwork and learn all the ins and outs of benefits, etc. with the time needed to figure out what will be best for our family--financially, time-wise, and sanity-wise.

In the meantime, I'm going to get back up on my soapbox about U.S. family-friendly practices (or lack thereof). I do understand that a woman going out on maternity leave results in a gap in the employer's workforce. Still, I think that children are good for society as a whole and that it is also good for society when parents get to spend extended time raising their children. I don't think it's necessarily more important for a mother to stay home than a father, but if the couple chooses to breastfeed, it's a whole lot simpler! In any case, while I would argue for parental leave for either parent, there is the medical need for women have some time at home. Even for those women who would prefer to go back to work sooner rather than later, the childcare infrastructure in our country isn't great. It's really expensive for parents while still not being well-paying for most child-care workers. It's also not always easy to find.

I don't have a perfect solution to offer, but I do think it's an extension of our country prioritizing security (and all that money spent works so well, as this past Christmas shows) far above education--teachers and childcare workers are given lip-service, but not the pay to go with it. Sigh. If one of you has that perfect solution, please let your law-makers know, pronto!

I also want to take the chance to highlight Motherlode, which is the New York Times' parenting blog, run by Lisa Belkin. Ms. Belkin highlights issues such as this all the time (she recently featured a pair of posts about working w/ baby vs. quitting to be w/ baby), and the discussion gets quite vivid! She just had a post about maternity leave in the US, and touches on the topic with some regularity. If you are interested in this sort of thing (as well as a smorgasbord of other issues related to parenting), go visit!

Family Friendly Libraries

... and I don't mean this group, whose website I am linking to ONLY out of a librarian's decision not to censor a viewpoint I disagree with. I feel that the organization Family Friendly Libraries has shown by its actions that it would like to set standards not only for the families of members but for other people's families, too, and that they don't take into account needs of minority (in all senses) groups in the community.

But back to my original post.

I am stepping away from my tech learning focus for a post in order to talk about an issue that is now by default an interest of mine. When I talk about family friendly libraries, I mean libraries that are family friendly for employees. This is important to me, first of all, because I have a 1 year old and hope to have more children at some point. While my current job has been great, it's not perfect. I would rather work part-time than full, but part-time professional positions are few and far between. I was able to pump milk with support from both my supervisors when I started my position with a 6 month old...but the place I could find to pump was behind some shelves in our closed reference stacks area. Plus, I had to ask one of my (male) coworkers from downstairs to cover the reference desk each time I pumped, which wasn't always easy for them, since the first floor of our library is always busier than the second.

I certainly understand that the balance between work and family involves certain choices. We chose for my husband to pursue a graduate degree, and so, for the time being, I have to work. We chose to find a way to raise our son as much as possible ourselves, and so I chose I job that is not in the area of librarianship that is my first interest (children's/school librarianship), and I also chose a job in which spending time with my husband is difficult. And yes, we chose to have a child, although I find myself repelled by those who say that having children is a choice and so, therefore, all parents should be left alone to the consequences of childbearing. (Full disclosure: I am pro-life. I am also pro-available/affordable birth control, anti-war, and pro-socialized--or at least more-socialized--healthcare. I am not a political activist, but these are my opinions on these select few subjects. I still question what I would do when presented with logical-extreme scenarios for many of these issues.)

Anyway, the reason I mention LIBRARIES in particular is that librarianship has traditionally been, and still in many ways is, a female-dominated profession. And, yes, family issues affect fathers, too (as my husband can attribute), but when it comes down to it, women have the babies. And if you want to feed babies breastmilk for the first six months-year of their lives (which I believe is recommended by the American Association of Pediatrics, but I couldn't find the actual recommendation, so I'll update if/when I do), a women is necessary. I am all for women having the right to work, but I don't think we can, or should, completely ignore biology.

Since so much of child-raising from the prenatal period through infancy has to do with women, then, I would like to think that women-dominated professions would make child-bearing easier on careers, with such benefits as paid maternity leave, or at least longer unpaid maternity leave, that allows for a guaranteed position upon return. Alas, it is not so. Teachers, another female-dominated profession, have rotten maternity options, and while I don't feel like libraries are especially unfriendly to employees having children, they certainly don't win any family-friendly awards.

I'm now treading on shaky ground, having not done extensive research on this subject. However, at my own institution, I would be eligible for Family and Medical Leave (the twelve-week unpaid leave mandated by the government, see here for more information--and I am shocked--as a pro-life, anti-war person--to see that they have added twenty-six weeks to care for a military family member!! But only twelve for a new baby or non-military ill family member!!), and I could ask to take a longer leave of absence. But my understanding is that this would all be unpaid. Not optimal. Less optimal for those who are single mothers.

Then there is the child-care juggle once maternity leave ends. Staffing a library desk is inherently harder to be flexible about than creating online presentations, making sales calls, or many other types of work. But libraries do have to be open at odd hours--evenings, weekends--so why aren't there more positions created to try to accommodate parents who'd like to work those odd hours? (And in that case, those employees who like to work the M-F daytime shift would win, too, with fewer evenings and weekends to cover.) And why aren't their more part-time professional positions, or positions that are shared?

My final word on the subject for now (since I've realized that I need to do more research before I speak more extensively) is that, however women chose to do their child-bearing, there seems to be a professional cost. Even if a woman could afford to take several years off, have kids, nurse them all, send them to kindergarten, she would then face the challenge of re-entering the workforce with a gap in her employment history. Why can't raising kids go on the resume?